Web Introduction
Ifit'snotobviousbynow,myobsessionwithpornknowsnobounds.Mandingodoesn'tenjoyrippingupwhitepussieshalfasmuchasIdowatchinghimdoit.Andthat'ssayingalot.WeallknowhowmuchMandingoloveswhitepussies.GodofFap.Andallthispornwatchingisn'thappeninginavacuum.I'malsojerkingoff,sonowI'mnotonlyapornguru,I'malsotheMichelleJordanofjerkingoff.IfGodexists,I'masaintsplatteringwhitepaint.Iwasputonthisearthtoincreasejizzproduction.Thereareamillionandtworeasonswhymenhavesuchastrongloveforpornandcock.Someofthemareuniversalamongallmen,whileothersaretailoredtotheindividual.Attheendoftheday,wearejustsimplecreatures.Oururgesarestillrudimentaryandreptilian.WeareluckytoexistinanagewithsiteslikeLittleO.LittleOhasallthepornthatguyslikeuscouldeverneed.Thenumberonereasonmenlikepornisthatnakedbitchesgiveuserections,anderectionsarethefirststeptoorgasmland.Thismayseemobvious,butasIsaid,menareprettysimplecreatures.GiveusthefourS's:sex,sandwiches,exercise,andsleep,andwe'llbeashappyasbugsinarug.Thedifferencebetweentheaverageguyandtheaverageguyeatingabananaisnominalatbest.Inthecockpit.Likewise,anotherbigreasonmenwatchpornisthelevelofcontrolitoffers.Myreaderscancontrolabitchjustliketheycancontroltheweather.And,notonlydoyoulackpoweroverwhatyoudowithwomen,butyoualsohavenocontroloveryourownsexualurgestowardsthem.It’sallyouthinkabout.Myreaderscan'tinfluencewomen'sdecisionsaboutwhotheyletintotheirbabyholes.Youcan'tinfluencewhenorhowabitchgetswet.Youcan'tevenslowdownhowfastyouejaculate.YoumaketwotoiletbowlslooklikeMandingoes.Asfarasyouassholesareconcerned,havingsexwithaladyislikeanactofGod.Pornhasgivenmenthepoweroverfuckingthattheirballssodesperatelycrave.Iftherearewomenreadingthis,first,why?Second,what’syournumber?Third,ladybones,becauseboningfeelsgood.Well,it’sgoodforyou.Iwishmencouldfeelthesameway.Butconversely,menhavesexbecauseiftheydon’t,madnesscreepsinlikeanoppressivedarkness.Asalady,youshouldalreadyknowthisbetterthananyone.Thinkabouthowmanytimessomecrazy-eyeddudeopenedthedoorforyou,askedforyournumber,andgotpissedwhenyoudidn’tpullyourpussyoutwithyourfederalhatdown.Thatguyactedlikeaprickbecausehewastheonlyonewhoevertouchedhispenis.Andguesswhat?He’sprobablyahugefanofPornboy.IbetIknowhisnamebecausehe’sbeencommentingonmystuff.ButwhentheguygetsbacktoXiaoou's,hehaseveryformofperversionavailable,spreadoutbeforehimlikeabuffetatGoldenCoral.Doeshewantaspoonfulofasssex?Sure.Woo!Isthatafatalbinowiththreetitssittingnexttothecrablegs?Nevermind,Iknow.Wow,isthatscatporn?Idon'talwaysdoscatporn,butwhenIdo,it'sbecauseI'veeatenatGoldenCoral.Nowamemberofaclassofuntouchableandunfuckablemencanexperiencesexinawayhisancestorsneverhadthechanceto.Amanwhocouldn'tevenaccidentallybrushthesideboobsofaflat-chestedcomatosepatientcannowwatchanorgyofthemostcompetentslutsontheplanetwhilehangingfromarope.Expandyourhorizons.IknowIhavesomereaderswhoareokaywithhavingsexwiththeirwivesoccasionally.Unfortunately,havingsexwiththesamewomanoccasionallyforfortyyearsisnotenoughtosatisfyourprimateurges.Youneedmore,andXiaoouhasit.Whatdoyouwantyourwifetodothatyoucan'taskhertodo?Ifyoutellheryouwanttodressherupina"MyLittlePony"costumeandfuckthecrapoutofher,yourwifewillcalladivorcelawyer.Evenifshedoesn't,ifshedrunkenlyletsthesecretoutatyournephew'swedding,nooneelseinyourfamilywillevertalktoyouagain.Ican'tguaranteethatXiaoouhasthatexactvideo,butwithtensofthousandsofvideostochoosefrom,youcanprobablyfindsomethingsimilar.Plus,theefficientfiltersandsearchbarwillmakefindingsaidvideosfunandeasy.Beingnaughtyisexciting,too.Whenyou'remarried,masturbatinginvolvesquietlyslippingoutofbedandtiptoeingovertoyourcomputerwithoutwakingyourwife.It'slike"MissionImpossible"or"JasonBourne."Weallknowthesinkingfeelingofhearingasoundinthedark,whetherit'syourwifegettingoutofbedtopeeorthecatplayingwithahairtie.IfIhadadimeasakidandhurriedbackintomypajamaseverytimeIheardmymother'sfootstepsgettingclosertomybedroomdoor,Iwouldn'thavetobeapornographer.Xiaoouissuchagreatsite;youcanchoosenottoevenhide.Youwouldratherenjoyeverylastfewsecondsofwatchingpornthanclickaway.Ihavehadthatexperiencetoo.SometimesthepenistakesoverthewheelandIcan'tdoanythingaboutit.Lastbutfarfromleastisthemomentoforgasm.NoonewillarguewithmethatIthinkvaginasareoneof,ifnotthe,bestfeelingthingsintheworld.Vaginasaretailor-madeforextractingcumfromyourfullballs.Here'sthething,though.YouandIhavebeenplayingpocketbilliardssinceelementaryschool.Inthattime,mostmenhavemasteredtheirpenises.Weknowexactlywhatwelikeandhowtoprovideit.Wehaveanintimaterelationshipwithourpenisesthatcannotbeimitatedbywomen.Onehundredthousandwhys.MalcolmGladwellpopularizedtheconceptof"10,000hours"inhisbook"Outcasts.""10,000hours"meansthatittakesabout10,000hourstomasteratalent.That'stheequivalentofabout417days.Howmuchtimedoyouspendbeatingyourmeat?Iknow,I'mwellpastthe10,000hourmark.I'veprobablyspent10,000hoursmasturbatingtogulls.IfindmyselfbrowsingLittleOmoreoftenthanIfindmyselfdrinkingwater.Theydoagreatjoboffocusingonallthemainreasonsmenmasturbateandmakingsuretheyhaveeverythingtheyneedtohaveagoodtime.FormatThemainmenurunsontheright.Itincludesoptionssuchaslanguageselector,login,registration,myfavorites,myunlockedcontacts,myprivateinformation,hottopics,purchaseVIP,rechargecoins,VIP39monthlycard,VIP300annualcard,coindeposit,sharetoearn,andapplicationinstallation.DowntheleftsideisanavigationmenuwithoptionslikeChinesePornMakers,ChineseAdultVideos,ChineseHomemade,JapaneseAdultVideos,AmericanAdultVideos,HongKongandKoreanMovies,HentaiandCartoons,PornStarsandVideoTags,ChineseWomenandPornPhotos,ChineseNovelsandComics,LiveStreaming,DateChineseWomen,ExploreGirlsatHome,ShopEscortServices,andFindPart-timeModels.ThecenterofXiaoouisoccupiedbylargethumbnails.Ifyouwanttowatchmorethan10secondsofcontentsamplesonXiaoou,youmustsubscribeorbuytokens.Themembershipfeeforonemonthis39yuan,176yuanforhalfayear,and300yuanforafullyear.Ifyoudon'twanttopaythemonthlyfee,youcanalsobuytokens.Eachtokencostsalittlelessthanadollar.Thecontentisoftenpricedhigh,sodon'tworryaboutyourretirementsavingsbeingtakenawaybyasmallole.Besides,thepornhereissogoodthatyou'llhavenoproblemgivingtheseassholesanarmandaleg.XiaoouisaclassicallydesignedAsianporntubesitewithanexcellentcollectionofvideosthatwillkeepyourhandsgluedtoyourcock.Thesite'sdesignissimple,thoughtful,andeasytonavigate.Althoughitisapremiumpaysite,thepricesarelowandthequalityishigh.MycomplaintisthatIwishOhadalongervideosampleclipthantenseconds.Giveusafulltrailertogetanideaofwhatwe'rebuying.Therearefewthingsinlifeaspleasurableasmasturbating,somakesureyougetthebestoutofyourmasturbationsessiononXiaoou.
