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FapHouse Taboo

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Eighteen Touches


Web Introduction

Ah,FapHouse.com/Taboo,aplacewheretheword"taboo"islighterthanhighschoolcafeteriaketchup.You'dexpectsomedark,edgycontenttocaptureyourimaginationandawakenyourinnerslut,right?Nope.Thisplaceisas"taboo"asmygrandma'sknittingclubdiscussingFiftyShadesofGrey.FapHouseusescryptictitlestograbyourattention,whichisaclevertrick,exceptallofthevideosarejustrun-of-the-millpornthatwouldn'tshockevenaMormon.NodisrespecttoFapHouse-everybodyfuckingdoesit.Eversincetheterm"stepmom"becamepopularafewyearsago,taboositeshavebeenfilledwithboringcontentthatborrowstabootitles.It'sallbullshit,completeandutterbullshit,andtheyknowit.I'mnotblamingFapHousespecifically-they'renotactuallydirectlyinvolvedinit.Moreonthatlater.Whilethere'salottonitpickabout,theydoasurprisinglygoodjob.NofreepornHere'sthething.Mostofthevideosherearejustteasers.That'sright.Ihaven'tbeensodisappointedsinceIfoundoutthatRonJeremyisn'treallySantaClaus.Ifyouwanttoexperiencethese"taboo"shenanigansinalltheirnot-so-tabooglory,you'llneedtoshelloutsomecash.Ithinkthepricesarereasonable,though.Aone-monthsubscriptioncosts$6.99,theequivalentofbuyingtwooverpricedlattesatStarbucks.Oryoucangetathree-monthplanfor$5.99permonth—slightlycheaper,butstillnotassatisfyingasacoldpizza.A12-monthsubscriptioncosts$4.99permonth,basicallythecostofforgettingtomakeyourownlunchandhavingtoeatatMcDonald's.Ifyou'rereallygutsyandwantlifetimeaccesstoFapHouse,youcanpayaone-timefeeof$199.99.Buthonestly,you'remorelikelytospendthatmoneyonalifetimesupplyofbeerorfleshlights.ProbablygoodvalueformoneyLet'slookatthisfromanotherangle.FapHousebringsinpremiumvideosfromhundreds,maybeeventhousandsofstudios,allunderoneroof.Thevideosaretop-notch,thehighestqualitypossible,uncompressed,straightfromthesource.Inaway,thesiteisanalternativetoallthemainstreampornsites.Hell,it'sallthemainstreampornsitescombined.TheyhavesomekindofspecialresalecontractthatIdon'treallyunderstand.Theydon'treallyadvertisethat.Theyjustmakeitclearthattheirvideoscomefromallovertheweb,andthey'reallhereunderoneumbrella,onesubscription.Theone-time,lifetimepaymentapproachcaughtmyattention.Payonce,experiencepremiumpornforever.Imean..."forever"reallymeansaslongasthesiteisupandrunning,butthey'vegotaprettygoodtrackrecord.They'reverywellrespectedintheworldofonlineporn.I'veheardnothingbutgoodthings.Mygripewiththe"taboo"sectionisthatit'snotnearlyastabooasI'dlikeittobe.I'veseensomegreatstuffhere,andI'veseenitbefore,butIwouldn'tconsiderittaboo.Hell,I'dconsideritmainstreamvanillaerotica.ThefirstvideoIrecognizedwasofPrincessLeia-yes,that'swhatshecallsherself.IrecognizedherfromsomeofherworkwithXevBellringerandherhusband.Irecommendthewholesetofvideoswholeheartedly.It's10/10porn,butit'sfarfromtaboo.SwingsandmissesInconclusion,FapHouse.com/Taboo,the"taboo"contenthereisasedgyasbowling,butthepriceoptionsareshitandonlyexistifyouactuallywanttoaccesstheentiresite.Ifyou'reonlyhereforthetabooporn,allthecontentisoverpricedbecausenoneofitisuptopar.You'dbebetteroffcheckingoutsomepaintorpickingupanewhobby.Likeknitting.Atleastyou'llgetsomethingintheend.IfFapHouse.com/Taboowereamovie,it'dbeaMichaelBayblockbuster-lotsofbuild-upandadisappointingending.Buthey,atleastBay'sgivingyouthepriceofadmissiontorobotbattlesinsteadofaseriesofvague,insubstantialclips.Imean,I'veseenmoreexplicitactiononprimetimeTV.GeneralHospitalwasmoretaboothanthis.FapHousetriestolureyouinwithaspicytitle,buttheactualcontentisastameasacucumbersandwich.GiveitatryHowmuchFapHouse.com/Taboosatisfiesyouisuptoyoutodecide.Tome,thevideoshereareallworthalook.Therealquestionis,aretheyworthalookforyou?Idon'tknow.Ourattitudestowardpornhavegottensoweirdoverthepastdecadeorsothattheword"taboo"hasbecomemeaningless.Whatistaboonow?Ihavenofuckingidea.Imean,Ihavethisgeneralideathatpeopledoingnastythingstheyshouldn'tbedoingisagoodindicator,butpromisingyouarefreshingworldofadultentertainmentbutinsteadleavingyouwithasoggybackyardanddisappointment.Ifyouhavemoneyinyourpocketandyou'vealreadyinvesteditinBitcoin,BeanieBabies,andElvismemorabiliaplates,putittoFapHouse.Otherwise,Irecommendsavingitforsomethingmoreexciting...likepetrocks.AmIbeingtoomean?Sorry,Ihaven'tgottenlaidinlike...twodays.I'mhavingameltdownBacktorealityI'mgoingtotrytobereasonableandjustsaytwothings.TheFapHouse.com/Taboonameerrorisnottheirfault.Theypullthesevideosfromoutsidesourceswholabelthemforthem.Ifitsayslesbian,it'slesbian,evenifit'snot.FapHousecan'tfullyreviewhundredsofthousandsofvideosforlabelaccuracy.And,eveniftheydid,they'dhavethesameproblemIjusthad-theycan'treallydeterminewhattabooactuallymeans.Currently,almostallofthevideosarestepsisterandstepmomshit,withoneexceptionIfoundandit'stitled..."GypsyTwinsFuckSouthPark'sManBearPig".Ikidyounot,Icopiedthetitleverbatim.Youcanlookitup.ItwasmadebyHeavyOnHotties.It's...kindoftaboo,Iguess,becausetheguyisanoverweightnastydude.Ofcourse,twinsaretabootoo.Still,ifthisisthebestFapHousehastooffer,I'mnotimpressed.IamheartbrokenComparingthisreviewtootherreviewsI'vewrittenaboutFapHouse,you'dthinkImighthaveoutsourcedthisreviewtosomeonewhohasaseriousbeefwiththesite,andIgetwhatyoumean,but...no,thisisallwrittenbyme.Iliterallywrotethiscrap.Look,IloveFapHouse.IloveFapHouse.Ihavealifetimesubscriptiontothissite.I'vebeenusingitforalongtime.Idon'tcomehereveryoftenbecauseIhavemembershipstoathousandothersitestokeepcomingbackto,buteverytimeIcomeI'mhappy.IdiscoversomethingnewthatIdidn'tknowabout.Thisisafunbucketofsmuttojumpintoatwill.ButwhatI'mgoingtoreviewistheTaboosection.Thisisaclear,dedicatedsectionofthesitethatshouldappealtopeoplewhoarelookingforaspecifictypeoferotica.HowthehellcanIrecommendthisstufftoyouguyswhenIknowyou'regoingtobedisappointed?YouBetheJudgeThatsoundslikeacop-out,becausethat'swhatitis-I'llleavethefinalwordtoyou.YoutellmeifthetaboosectiononFapHouseisworththemoney.I'dsayit'stepidatbest,andI'mnotpersonallyatabootype.I'mprettytaboointhebedroom,butwhenitcomestoporn,mymainconcernisthatIgettoseepussyoraniceblowjobscene.Idon'tneedweirdshittogetmehard.I'mhardallthetime.Luckily,therearetrailersforeveryvideoonthissite,soatleastyoucangiveitatrybeforeyoumakeyourfinaldecision.Checkoutthevarietyofvideoswehavetoofferandmakeyourdecision.And,ifanyofyoudospendthemoneytogetthefullexperience,letmeknowifyouthinkit'sano-no.

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